Let me tell you a story...
A woman, we’ll call her Jess, recently shared with me the following situation at her current job:
I’m working at a company where it’s totally unclear what I am supposed to be doing. There is no clear way I am supposed to be doing my job and I keep getting conflicting information. This has been made worse by the fact that my supervisor has changed 3 times in the last year and I don’t click with the one I am reporting to now. I recently had a review with my supervisor and I was told that I am not working up to their standards (though I’m completely unclear about what those standards are). I feel like everything is falling apart. I KNOW that I am good at what I do but I feel like the environment and my supervisor have created a situation where I can’t be as successful as I know I’m capable of being. I am tempted every day just to quit. I know there is something better out there for me.
Does this situation sound familiar to you?
Maybe it's 100% familiar or maybe just parts of it are.
As I explored more with Jess we looked at the reality of how she had been showing up to work in the last year. I asked her to put aside the external situation and factors and focus only on how SHE was showing up.
As we dug in it because clear to Jess that over the last year she had increasing become grumpy, unhappy, frustrated, irritable, unmotivated, unproductive and guarded. Even though this was not who she was in her natural state this had become her new “normal”.
As we dug even further in and she realized that this wasn’t just an issue impacting her work and her work performance but she also found that she was showing up in the other parts of her life in the exact same way.
She woke up grumpy.
She snapped at her husband and kids more often.
She wasn’t keep her house as clean as she used to.
Her workout routine had dropped off completely.
And she found that she wasn’t as socially engaged as she used to be with friends and her community.
Can you related to this?
Once Jess got clear on how she was showing up in all these areas of her life I got real with her.
Because here is the truth.
How can you ever EVER expect to find your dream job when you are treating your current job like shit.
I told you I got real.
How can you expect your dream job to come to you when all you are focused on is how much your current job sucks?
When you are treating your current job like a pile of poo.
When you aren’t showing up to work as the best version of yourself.
When you aren’t speaking up for yourself.
When you aren’t taking charge.
When you become a victim of your circumstances.
Why would your dream job ever come your way when you are bogged down in stink of the situation you are in?
Here’s a different way to think about all of this. I want a new car. I dream about that new car every day. I know every detail about that dream car. It’sgray. It’s sporty without being flashy. I know exactly what it will smell like. I know what it will feel like to sit on the leather seats as I drive down the windy roads. I imagine how I will feel driving it to work, driving it out to dinner, driving it to the grocery store.
But the reality is, the car I have right now is an old-school wood paneled station wagon. You all know the ones I’m talking about. I HATE this car. I loathe driving in it. I’m embarrassed by it. I put the cheapest gas in it. I never wash it. It has crap filling up the backseats…french fries, wrappers, discarded bags, empty water bottles. I tell everyone how much I hate it. That it’s an embarrassment that I even own it. I could go on and on about the horribleness of this car.
I’m going to ask you this. How the hell do you think I could be trusted to have that dream car when I can’t even take care of the car I have right now?
I’m so focused on how horrible this car is that I have completely lost sight of what I can appreciate about what I have and what’s good about it. I’ve stopped taking care of what is already mine.
Why would I ever think I could be trusted with something better than my station wagon? I’m certainly not showing the world that I can.
The same exact thing goes for your job and your career. If you can’t show up for the job you have right now then how can you ever expect the job you dream about to come your way?
Why the heck would someone hire you when your energy is focused on being a victim of your situation?
When you are grumpy, unhappy, unproductive and guarded?
Now, you may say…I might be showing up at work that way but I’m really good at leaving that behind and not having it show up in my interviews or in my relationships or elsewhere in my life.
I call BS on that.
You may THINK you are being positive in those moments but there is NO way that you are showing up as the candidate an employer would like to hire if you are showing up unmotivated, unproductive and grumpy at your current work.
Don’t believe me? Ask your friends or family how they see you right now.
My guess is, if they are honest with you, that they are watching themselves more when they are around you these days. That you aren’t showing up as the happy, open, giving person they’ve always known you to be.
You might think you are a good actor but you can’t ACT your way around the natural energy that you are giving off.
So, I know some of you out there might still be saying…I can’t turn this around. The situation at my work sucks and there is nothing that I can do about it. It’s out of my control.
But here’s what I’ll ask of you.
Who else on this planet is responsible for changing the way you feel and the way you show up and present yourself in this situation?
Who is responsible for that?
YOU.
YOU are the only one who can change the way you feel and the way you show up RIGHT now.
And that’s why you need to start watering the grass where you are standing.
If this is resonating with you and you’re seeing the importance of watering the grass where you are standing so you can land your dream job …then make sure you check out my next post where I’ll share the 3 reasons you need to water the grass where you’re standing.
So, if you are feeling stuck in your current job. If you’re feeling out of control in your situation at work and you’re noticing the impact it’s having on how you’re showing up at work and in the rest of your life then click here to read more.